That superman pic is striking! And, of course, you know I agree with you about all the rest.
A few weeks into my new position in a children's hospital and we've had nearly as many male patients as female w eating disorders.
Thanks for mentioning The Body Image Book for Boys! I wish that all homes with preteen/teen boys had a copy of it in their home, right next to a puberty book of choice, and a book about consent/sex. Tik Tok is not the optimal place for kids to be getting health information!
Those images are really powerful. If you scroll through all the slides on Instagram, the pattern is really something.
I, too, wish every family with a boy could have that book—for those who assume (accurately or not) that their son will never crack it open, it's beneficial even if only the parents read it and it starts a conversation with their son!
Yeah, the goalposts for "fitness" have moved so far it's always out of reach for almost everyone. And the images we're bombarded with are so unrealistic—even the models and influencers don't usually look like their own photos and videos. All the more reason for us to find ways to take care of our wellbeing in ways that work for us, and the bonus is we actually get to live our full lives rather than having our world narrowed into striving only in this one domain.
Thank you for talking about this. I have been having conversations and writing poetry about inherited body shame in women because that is my experience but it's tragic that young boys are growing up with this pressure too.
The intergenerational body shame for women is so important to talk and write about. And I do see it as the only way to start healing and breaking these cycles.
One of the things that is so worrying about the struggles for boys and men is that they are far less likely to express these feelings, in part because body dissatisfaction itself has been gendered as as "feminine." It's really heartbreaking, and I'm glad more men are starting to be open about it to help break some of this stigma.
The subject line really grabbed me — making me think about how the way I talk about fitness, muscle, etc may be beneficial for my daughter (it’s ok to be big and strong and take up space) but potentially risky for my son!
Yeah, it's so tricky, and it does mean parents often have to provide those counter-narratives for certain gender expectations.
Unfortunately, there is growing pressure on girls to try to achieve a high level of visible muscularity/"definition" now, too (the "six-pack sisters" being a recent extreme example). We've come a long way since the days of girls and women being told not to lift weights for fear of "bulking up." But I've definitely seen strength training become part of girls' and women's eating disorder symptoms.
That six-pack dad keeps me up at night. So toxic and terrifying. But even more subtle rhetoric can still be harmful — we all have to be so mindful. Thank you for providing such helpful, empathetic frameworks and reminders.
That superman pic is striking! And, of course, you know I agree with you about all the rest.
A few weeks into my new position in a children's hospital and we've had nearly as many male patients as female w eating disorders.
Thanks for mentioning The Body Image Book for Boys! I wish that all homes with preteen/teen boys had a copy of it in their home, right next to a puberty book of choice, and a book about consent/sex. Tik Tok is not the optimal place for kids to be getting health information!
Those images are really powerful. If you scroll through all the slides on Instagram, the pattern is really something.
I, too, wish every family with a boy could have that book—for those who assume (accurately or not) that their son will never crack it open, it's beneficial even if only the parents read it and it starts a conversation with their son!
as I get older a funny term to me is "dad bod".
men who aren't at the pinnacle of competitive bodybuilding are described as "dad bod"
15% body fat, 6 minute mile, etc.
workout every day.
I would absolutely have to take supplements and train like a professional athlete -whose livelihood is their physique- to get beyond that label.
Yeah, the goalposts for "fitness" have moved so far it's always out of reach for almost everyone. And the images we're bombarded with are so unrealistic—even the models and influencers don't usually look like their own photos and videos. All the more reason for us to find ways to take care of our wellbeing in ways that work for us, and the bonus is we actually get to live our full lives rather than having our world narrowed into striving only in this one domain.
Thank you for talking about this. I have been having conversations and writing poetry about inherited body shame in women because that is my experience but it's tragic that young boys are growing up with this pressure too.
The intergenerational body shame for women is so important to talk and write about. And I do see it as the only way to start healing and breaking these cycles.
One of the things that is so worrying about the struggles for boys and men is that they are far less likely to express these feelings, in part because body dissatisfaction itself has been gendered as as "feminine." It's really heartbreaking, and I'm glad more men are starting to be open about it to help break some of this stigma.
I'm so glad you're on Substack, Oona! I'm sharing & amplifying.
Thanks, Jennifer! Glad to connect here.
Super helpful. Thank you!
Glad to know! Means a lot coming from someone in the fitness field.
The subject line really grabbed me — making me think about how the way I talk about fitness, muscle, etc may be beneficial for my daughter (it’s ok to be big and strong and take up space) but potentially risky for my son!
Yeah, it's so tricky, and it does mean parents often have to provide those counter-narratives for certain gender expectations.
Unfortunately, there is growing pressure on girls to try to achieve a high level of visible muscularity/"definition" now, too (the "six-pack sisters" being a recent extreme example). We've come a long way since the days of girls and women being told not to lift weights for fear of "bulking up." But I've definitely seen strength training become part of girls' and women's eating disorder symptoms.
That six-pack dad keeps me up at night. So toxic and terrifying. But even more subtle rhetoric can still be harmful — we all have to be so mindful. Thank you for providing such helpful, empathetic frameworks and reminders.