Brandy Melville is a body-shaming nightmare
But what if your kid still wants to shop there?
The clothing store Brandy Melville is back in the headlines again thanks to a new documentary, Brandy Hellville: Brandy Melville and the Cult of Fast Fashion.1
The title resonated with me right away because in our house we refer to Brandy Melville as “the devil store,” and the word “hellscape” inevitably comes up whenever I talk about this brand. Yes, that’s how bad this place feels to me.
Why? Because their clothes generally come in only one size, and that size is teeny tiny.
Originally “one size fits all,” most of their clothing line now says “one size fits most” or simply “one size.” On their website, each item is listed as its one and only size (mostly XS/S) other than their sweatshirts, which are “oversized,” a descriptor that applies only if you’re thin.
Their website and social media look like the combination of a pro-eating disorder account (yes, those are a thing) and a pedophile’s photo cache. And that so-called “aesthetic” (I hate even using that word) is by design.
I used to joke that Brandy Melville clothing was really “one size fits most second graders.” It’s not really funny when you remember that their target customers are pre-teens, teens, and young adult women.
My outrage at this store existed even before I learned about the truly despicable behavior of the man who runs this little cult empire of fascism fashion.
When stories of racism and explicit body-shaming of employees made the news a few years ago, the store was anything but canceled. In fact, their sales actually went up. Time will tell if this new documentary has any impact on the popularity of these clothes or this guy’s bottom line.
In addition to covering familiar ground about the mistreatment of employees and the owner’s dehumanizing behavior, the documentary also ties Brandy Melville to the larger issue of disposable fast fashion, including its connection to colonialism and its impact on the environment.
Unlike other well-known teen brands, however, Brandy Melville clothes are generally well-made enough to last for years and often have a second life on resale sites such as Depop. Rather than wear an item a few times and discard it, girls and women collect these clothes and tend to buy/trade used versions online.
My hunch is that connecting the Brandy Melville story to these larger issues was the way to get this documentary made. Perhaps the persistent mistreatment of teen girls isn’t a worthy enough topic on its own…
So once you know what this brand is all about, what do you do if your tween or teen daughter is still asking to shop there?
In certain communities, wearing Brandy has become an essential signifier, a ticket to social acceptance, a way to feel you belong. The intensity with which some kids desire these clothes can’t be overstated.
As easy as it may be to dismiss this kind of materialistic conformity, I can tap into this adolescent emotion pretty quickly when I remember how desperately my sixth grade self wanted—no, needed!—Guess jeans.
I finally found a pink pair at TJ Maxx and begged my parents for money because even last season’s discounted design cost more than my meager babysitting earnings could cover. I knew an older girl at my junior high who would remove the iconic triangular Guess logo patch off of one pair of jeans and sew it onto others so it seemed like she had multiple pairs. They were that cool and that important.
Clothes are a way for kids to feel they fit in.
But what if these clothes don’t fit your kid?
And what if shopping at this store doesn’t fit your values?
Plenty of families have moral objections to spending money at a store that not only perpetuates anti-fatness but also benefits a lascivious owner who makes racist jokes and dresses up like Hitler for fun.
Families also wrestle with the fact that denying their child this seemingly simple access to social acceptance may hurt their daughter more than it hurts an evil CEO.
I think every family facing this dilemma will navigate it in their own way. There is no “one size fits all,” as it were.
It may not be a battle you can fight right now. And it gets a lot more complicated when your child has their own money to spend on these clothes.
No matter what you decide, I think there are some things to keep in mind when having hard conversations with your teen or tween.
If your adolescent is insisting they must shop at this store, it can be very tempting to react with anger and disgust. But we can end up leaving our kids feeling ashamed.
I can still remember the disdain my parents conveyed when I was coveting those Guess jeans. It didn’t make me want them less, but it did make me feel judged and misunderstood.
We can validate kids’ desire to own the seemingly must-have items and empathize with the need to feel like they belong. That doesn’t mean we have to say yes to purchasing something.
For some families, trying to ban Brandy Melville can end up increasing kids’ desire for the clothes. The “forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest” after all. This brand might come to represent not only social capital but also rebellion and independence.
When responding to a Brandy Melville shopping request, we can do it in a way that builds connection, fosters critical thinking, and sets boundaries.
If you find scripts helpful, here are some possible responses for a range of scenarios:
I’m so glad you found clothes you like and feel good in. You’re still growing, so we’ll have to find other stores, too.
What do you like about the style of clothes? Let’s find a store with similar looks that has more size options.
Of course you want the same brands all your friends are wearing. I wish they made more sizes. What do you think about getting a bag or other accessory there?
It makes sense to be upset they don’t make clothes in your size. Your body is never the problem. A store that chooses to make only tiny clothes is the problem.
Why do you think a company would decide to sell things that most people can’t wear?
This store is the opposite of size inclusive, and it’s not a business I will support. It’s okay to be mad at me.
If you try some version of one of these conversation-starters, I’d love to hear how it goes.
When we think about how important it is for young people (and all of us, really) to feel a sense of belonging, we might recall our own painful memories of being without that sense of safety and acceptance. It makes sense that we want to protect our kids from social cruelty whenever possible.
If your child were being teased or bullied because of their weight, do you know what you would do?
I was grateful to share some of my thoughts on this topic with CNN because I’ve seen how often loving, well-meaning parents can end up accidentally siding with the bully.
Thanks for reading, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts and questions.
Content warning for anyone who decides to watch the Max documentary: racism, antisemitism, anti-fatness, eating disorders, pedophilia, sexual assault.
I absolutely LOATHE that store. My girls were NEVER able to fit into anything there and it felt awful. Glad someone is bringing attention to it with the film!
With my youngest, who is very much a preteen who wants to be fashionable and fit in, we actually explain the intricacies of why we don't support certain companies. She is extremely empathetic and once we explain, she is usually 100% behind our decision. We also practice what to say if people criticise your appearance. Things like saying "So what?" or "That's a weird thing to say to someone" or "Why do you care so much about what I look like?" give her some easy ways to feel a little more confident when kids make comments.